There are good reasons that dream worlds don’t exist, my friends. If they did, I would easily be 500lbs! In my fantasy, every day would start with super strong coffee and some kind of baked good. There would also be a required mid-morning snack of tea and scones, plus evening wine, bread + cheese hour. Thankfully, I have stellar willpower against baking (save for bread). Err… I take that back. I had self-control prior to getting pregnant. Now, not so much.
As I was launched into detox without warning (or at the very least a tapering of my wine consumption), I’ve found that I’ve been craving more sugar than I ever have in my life. [So there you have it! If you eat too many sweets, consider drinking more alcohol. Just a thought!] But seriously, I’ve been gorging like a woman who is going to give birth to an entire country, instead of one 9lb baby. I guess you could say eating has become my only guilty pleasure on this island of vomiting, headaches, full bladders and a never-ending supply of water to drink.
(Well if I didn’t set this recipe post up to fail, I don’t know what I’ve done! Who wants to eat now? HA! Let’s try this again…)
SCONES. I’m pretty sure they originate from somewhere in Great Britain, although I’ve never actually eaten one there. I come from a long line of people that love any and every form of dough, so these were right up my alley. My English husband, however, is from another planet where he could quite happily live without it. I do not understand him but I did hear him loud and clear when he said that these were the best scones he’s ever had. If you’re not going to listen to the pregnant woman who would eat just about anything, take his word.
I think it’s because these scones are the quintessential, classic version of what a scone should be: flaky, buttery, the perfect amount of sweetness, completely unadorned except for a dusting of sugar and they are most certainly not diet food. I’ve made many other scone recipes in my life, but this one is by far the best. Save those dry, healthy scones for another day and join me in my quest to fatten this baby up. You don’t have to eat the whole batch, but I bet you’ll have to try hard not to.
- 1 cup cake flour (not self-rising)
- 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling and cutting
- 1/2 cup sugar, plus more for sprinkling
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- Salt
- 1 1/2 sticks cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
- 1 1/4 cups cold heavy cream, plus more for brushing
- 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Sift together flours, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoon salt in a large bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry blender or rub in with your fingers. (The largest pieces should be the size of small peas.) With your fingertips, flatten butter pieces into small disks. Cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until butter is very firm, about 20 minutes.
- Combine cream and vanilla in a small bowl, and stir into flour mixture with a wooden spoon until almost absorbed and dough just comes together. Turn out dough onto a lightly floured work surface; roll out into an 8-by-10-inch rectangle. With a short side facing you, fold rectangle into thirds, as you would a letter. Rotate dough a quarter turn clockwise. Repeat rolling out, folding, and rotating dough 2 more times. With floured hands, pat out dough to a 1 1/4-inch thickness, and cut out as many rounds as possible with a floured 2 1/4-inch round biscuit cutter. Gather scraps, reroll once, and cut out more rounds (you should have a total of 12).
- Place scones 2 inches apart on parchment-lined baking sheets. Brush tops with cream, and sprinkle with sugar. Bake until golden brown, 18 to 20 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Let cool on sheets. Serve warm or at room temperature.
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